Emancipation of women

 Lalithambika Antharjanam in “Admission of Guilt” says “I speak out of my sorrow. I am not envious of anyone. But when I think of how vastly experiences can differ, my heart breaks” I must admit that differences rest in the grave when we are trained to accept a common way of ‘how things must happen. In a recent while, I made some pinching observations w.r.t choosing a life partner, specifically for women out there & the way it differs in so many ways. When we talk about women's empowerment, do we really talk about it? I’m afraid, we don’t! I’ll try to make you understand the wrong idea of empowerment. Let’s talk about exercising a choice w.r.t a life partner. The defined way of ‘how one must choose a life partner’ includes Parents’ consent, firstly, entailing profession, caste, looks, & status of the family. It is followed by society’s consent which includes massaging its ego by following regressive norms like grand weddings, dowry etc. Finally, the consent of the girl, which in most cases is self-assumed i.e. ‘girl’s choice is a subset of parents’ & society’s choice’. Are we giving her freedom to exercise her choice or forcing her to exercise a particular choice? What colour of the dress? What flavour of ice cream? & what not? Asks every parent to his/her child then why not ask for a life partner? Why do choices that matter for a child doesn’t matter for parents? Why only a few choices are given & rest are chained? What is freedom in bits & pieces? Recently, I observed the lives of some well-educated & settled (empowered in modern society) women w.r.t exercising their choice for a life partner. Lady A was denied her choice for the profession of man wasn’t suiting her parents, Lady B was denied for caste being different, & Lady C for the lack of status even though in all 3 cases, women were empowered & love was immense. What is missing? EMANCIPATION, I admit! Emancipation of women is what we all must crave for because the concept of empowerment has been moulded & corrupted by conservatives. Emancipation talks about ‘making women capable enough to exercise their choice & not giving a set of choices to choose from. If you are educating her, and sending her out to see the world then why don’t you trust her maturity to take decisions? Only a narrow mind will expect a frog to stay in well even after seeing a river or sea. We choose the best school for HER, the best college for HER, the best facilities for HER then, why do we choose the best groom for OURSELVES? Why can’t we see the larger picture? Maybe because we ourselves started admiring the smaller picture, we have been living all through our lives. Caste, status, profession etc. can matter but whether it should or not, must be decided by her. We as human beings crave respect & get it from following norms that society has defined for us but can’t we lay new norms for our children? We follow the norms of society to get respect but lose the same in eyes of our children. The choice is ours, what kind of respect we want! Emancipate your girl, don’t capture her, the more you try to hold her back, the less she’ll hold you in her life. It’s like a magnet in disguise, isn’t it? In the end, love is all that matters, everything else follows its own course. Let them choose what they ought to choose & not what they must.

 Life is not what must come,

 It is what you allow to come,

 You may live or donate it,

but you shouldn’t regret it,

Make a choice, not from choices,

 But from your inner voices….

~ Srilakshmi Thatha